Do you really prefer my lead ?

My raid group is working on LK hardmode 10 three nights a week. And we settled a very tied raid, with always the same 10 people, almost.

What I like is that the composition never changes : we always have the right buffs, the good healer combo (disco priest and paladin), everyone knows his job and you don’t have to explain the tactics at the beginning of the evening.We make an exception when someone is missing, but it usually change the raid comp and we don’t like it : one stun is missing, one buff is gone (never without a retpal again… Never !). Everyone is progressing a lot during these intensive sessions.

The disadvantages are that not everyone can see the fight in the guild, when someone is missing, the raid can’t go (or will wipe the whole night), and we asked one person to come with his healadin instead of his hunter and he won’t get the first kill on his main toon. But that’s not the point of the post.

We even try to not change the raid leader, and that’s me. As an example, our usual RL is our GM, we are used to his voice on TS in raids. But during the summer, he was away from computer so our main tank and myself took the lead of the raids in turns. I was usually leading the progression fights in Icecrown as I’d downed the fights for a while in my previous guild, and he was leading Ulduar, or normal modes, or 25-man pugs and GDKPs.

We began to work on LK (hard) recently a few weeks before the GM returned and I took the lead with our shadow priest as I had already seen the fight up to phase 3, and the SP had the kill. I see raidleading as a two-faced job : the face with everything about organizing : raidcomp, location, rythme, and the face about combat : strats, announcing boss abilities, fails, brez and wipes. Sometimes it’s the same person, often, it’s not. I’m often doing the second part, even if I’m not the official RL as I know the fights very well and being a hunter it’s very handy to lead : I’m ranged and dps-ing.

Throughout the summer, I became more familiar with raid leading, my guildies got used to my lead. This week I had been leading our raids on LK because the GM was away, and when he came back, something funny happened.

You have to know that I’m the guide of the group. I put a raid mark on my head and guide the group through (or rather between) shadow traps, defiles and bombs. I announce each move on TS. And two nights in a row, I had been announcing everything. Yesterday, the GM came back and became announcing. Too. Because we were just announcing every single thing at the same time. With the lag, it was like an echo for me :

Me saying : « casters move »
GM : « Shadow trap casters »
Me : « Plague on D. »
GM : « Dispell D. »
(GM : « Dispell enraged horror »
Me thinking : « uh ? Since when do I need someone to announce my things ? »)

After a few tries, I told him if he’d  noticed he was repeating everything I said (except repeating is not exactly true, we were just announcing at the same time). He said yes, and then added something like : « I’ll shut up now, you do it very well », in a everyone-asked-me-to-shut-up-anyway kind of way. It seems that I wasn’t the only one to send him tells about that.

I didn’t get a single tell asking me to stop talking at the same time than GM.

That frightens me.

And on another side, it makes me happy. It means that my guildies trust me and like my lead. This is very important to me, to feel trusted. And it makes me proud too because that means I’m good at what I do, and everyone likes to know they are good at something. I’m always doubting about myself. Did I do well enough, could I have done better, I’m so crappy at that, I don’t have enough experience in this, I’m not sure I can do it… Those are the things that go through my head all the time. I’m very insecure and the only way I can realize that I can actually do something well is by someone else telling me.

During the summer, I’ve had a few moments like this one, when I felt the raid, the guildies, trusted me. Some told me directly. And it made me feel so good. After the kick from my previous guild, I felt bad, and I realize now that I was feeling bad for a long time, because for nearly a year, no one had bothered to tell me what they think about what I was doing, it being raiding or when I was an officer.

Here in our guild, people tell each other what they think about others. We know our strengths and weaknesses. If someone is fucking up, we tell him/her. And sometimes, it’s quite harsh to hear because most of us go strait to the point when there is a problem. But if someone is doing well/good/awesome, we tell him/her too.


2 Réponses to “Do you really prefer my lead ?”

  1. Ronwei Says:

    Well, i really like your lead.
    And no, not only because it allow me to switch Teamspeak off and still hear the lead right beside me 😀


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